Thanks every one.
I guess the turning point for me has been the fact that the buzz I used to get from a bottle of wine isn't happening anymore hence the moving on to drinking more.
I remember a time where a bottle of wine would knock me out with a hangover all day the next day. Now I get up, get kids ready for school, drive them to school and fear that my breath still smells like wine even though I've had breakfast and brushed my teeth etc.
I also like wine because I have become expert at knowing how much I need to feel good and when to stop to function "normally" the next day. I've never moved onto spirits (although I don't mind a G&T on a Saturday evening).
Having a child with cancer would seem like the best excuse to drink to oblivion and hide behind the bottle at the reality of my life. But it is the BEST excuse to not drink, to not remember living these years in a hungover state.
Wine, I will miss you.