Hi texasfan. I'm glad you're taking a look at what alcohol is doing to your life.
When I was your age I still had 20 more yrs. of drinking before I even thought of quitting. You can imagine the trainwreck my life became. Like you, I couldn't imagine my life without it. How I wish I had admitted I had no control & it was destroying me. Terrible things happened because I was too stubborn to reach out for help. This won't happen to you. We're happy you're here - you are never alone with this.