Livingego,I was also addicted to crack.I know a few people in AA and NA who are athiests.Please dont let that stop you from going to meetings.jlo,I was reading your post and it brought back some bad memories of my girlfriend getting killed.I guess you have seen some horrible things.I had completly forgotten till now,my next door neighbor at the time worked for a paremedics company and remembered the call coming in when my girlfriend was killed.I remember her telling me about it.The next morning I was at the accident scene and looking at pieces of the car all scattered.I saw a pair of latex gloves on the ground and thought about the paramedics.That would be a tough job at times.But,I guess you also save a lot of lives too.