MLC, I know that you know I meant the Get a Grip remark in the light of your IMMEDIATE AND FUTURE life.
Sorry I got your age wrong by 5 years, and yeah, I had terrible shite happening around your age in my own life. Most of my life, it seems....I'm now 57. When I was 7, my violent alcoholic father was in jail. And my mother pleaded with the authorities to not send him back home. this was in the early 1960s, when there was no child protection, no help for single mothers, very little help for alcoholics etc. Nor for those who'd been sexually abused or for those with eating disorders (neither of which had even been recognised).
Now, there is. Heaps of it. Maybe not perfect, but by jeez, a million times better than then.
And your husband's connections with child protection, which I figured he'd have from your posts. None of us know really what goes on between you, but I've long had a hunch that he himself could do with some help. Just as the kids do too. It's as if you have your whole family kind of captive to your problems and addictions.
I truly hope - given your screen name, midlife crisis - that your two weeks in detox will give you some space to re-think, start to realise how your own awful inner suffering does need to begin healing.
I read and reflect a lot about our inner tasks, as we age. You're at that point right now. I wish you well.