Originally Posted by
Midlifecrisis 
I don't drink during the day at all and I haven't touched an illegal drug for over 10 years and got clean from an illegal drug habit over 13 years ago. I meant, where to next? The val doesn't really do much for me anymore so I added codeine then the alcohol. That's why I need to stop. The next I chase will be an illegal one.
Thanks, I misunderstood what you meant by the illegal drug reference. You also mentioned that "I'm snorting Valium hourly, taking codeine like lollies" - is that also only at night when your husband is home? Or during the day with the kids too? Even if you don't feel that it's doing anyting to you it is - you just don't realize it. And it's completely unsafe for you to be caring for children on your own in that condition.