Your situation sounds so much like mine. I have not seen a lawyer yet; however I have inquired as to costs, retaining fees etc with a local lawyer. I have got divorce papers as well, but have not completed or filed. I know I will need a lawyer as there is a child involved.
Just like you, I still care for my husband. I'm not sure if I love him anymore though. The years of the alcholism and arguing over it, the financial burden it has put us in ($400-$500 a month) has taken a huge toll on me. I'm trying to detach myself as well and do things for myself and my daughter to enrich our lives. When/if we are ready to move on, I suppose I will know. I sometimes want to kick myself for putting up with so much for 17years, but nothing I can about it now. I'm glad you are doing what you are doing and it sounds like you have positive times ahead of you!