Trust?
This is one thing to examine more closely. During my life I've been betrayed too many times. Once I borrowed my car and next morning woke up hearing it was used for an armed robbery, yes. But betrayal of financial value is a lot less than something of a mental cost.
Maybe it is due to drinking, or that I have simply been paranoid and unobsevant in the past, but my dislike at people has been building up. It is only that I begin to understand how other people's motives really are, the people surrounding me. And I have seen something I wish I didn't have. For instance there are a few (cowards) in my life that would like me to lose my sobriety. This is just my observation and propably does not apply to anyone reading this. But for some reason, I have been too nice and kind all my life, therefore also giving the forbidden advantage to these people.
Succumbing to hatred is not the choice I want to take, but sometimes the actual reality really makes me angry, desiring to do something evil.
Just some vent. Thanks.