Dear jenny, we are so glad to hear your response and to hear that you are feeling some better and HOPEFUL! You were so smart to come here and share with others who un derstand so well how living with alcoholism can literally erode you from the inside.
Going back to wiscober's words about not trying to go this alone---her advice is very sound. It is good that you already have knowledge of alanon. There are some very good websites which address DV and abusive situations--I've read some of them--and they have a wealth of information (do a google search). Consider giving your local DV organization a call and talking your situation over with a counselor---you will recieve u nderstanding and they DO NOT JUDGE--they are there to serve you.
When you get time, I suggest that you do a google search for the articles written by Floyd P. Garrett, M.D.. These articles helped me more than any others in un derstanding the disease of alcoholism--how it distorts the alcoholic's reality and invades our relationships. I was able to detach much easier after reading these (several).
As always, your immediate safety is of the most immediate concern. You will feel so m uch better when you get a plan and your coping mechanisms begin to "click" in.
Keep us informed, if you will, as to your progress.
We care, 'cause you are important!
sincerely, dandylion