Dear Jenny, I think that the anger that you are experiencing is really the amount of hurt and fear that you are harboring inside. The anger is just presenting as the "cover emotion".
You have, it appears, been living on false hope--rather than facing the reality of your life with him--the real facts and observations.
A reality of alcoholism is that the drink has priority over all relationships and dominates his life. He cannot even love himself properly--much less another person. Really, this is all about him and the battle within his brain--24/7 with a monster disease that cares about nothing except the next drink--and constantly lies to him and distorts his reality.
Living on false hopes and unrealized "potentials" will finally distort your own thinking and cause you to lose yourself--leaving you in pain and confusion.
When a person is so disconnected from themselves that they are placing no value o n themselves---it is time for a reality check and a decision to save yourself--by making a decision that this self-abuse has to stop. It is time to get help to honor yourself again and to learn to treat yourself with the love that you DESERVE.
I am so glad that you came here to discuss this, because this forum is filled with loving and compassionate people who will walk with you--and care about you.
Please reach out to someone right away--alanon is waiting for you to walk into the door. See a doctor or therapist, and use this forum to learn as much as you can about this disease and how to gain your life back.
Will you please keep us informed as to how you are and h ow you are doing?
very sincerely, dandylion