I stare at the car windshield looking for splatters of blood to see if he shot up in the car again.
PLEASE think really hard about that statement. looking for blood spatter in the car that carries your precious children. AGAIN. looking for needles. in the home in which your precious children reside. looking to see how much money HE stole out of the account that provides for your precious children.
til now you have given implicit consent for him to do those things. by allowing him time and again to get away with this stuff without consequence, by allowing him access to your account. he shows ZERO regard for you, or for the safety of the kids. he has bankrupted you in many ways. time to stop the bleeding...literally and figuratively. this you DO NOT NEED.