Originally Posted by fairlyuncertain

If you attend aa meetings and alanon meetings I think you'll begin to build a circle of friends and a community that can support you through this.

It sounds as if you haven't forgiven yourself for your own alcoholic behaviors, and that standing by your wife is some kind of penance.
Need I say that's not a healthy mentality?

I see a lot of talk about Jesus but remember, Jesus didn't get all codependent and abandon God and his own truth to chase after ladies with dirty feet and try to convince them to let him wash them.

I wish you and your wife the best. Alcohol turns alcoholics into awful, crazy people. The book "under the influence" can offer some explanations for the biological basis for that.