Originally Posted by
luv2teachkids 
It's been a while since I posted. I have such mixed feelings that I can't explain. My AH is three weeks sober, no drinking. One minute everything's great and he's into me and wants to hang out with me, the next you'd think it hurts him to look or talk to me. I don't get it. I feel as if he's in attracted to me completely anymore and like everything I do either pisses him off or annoys him.
Marriage isn't supposed to be like this. I want to be happy, yet I'm just so depressed. I'm only happy anymore when I'm working.
Just like when he was drinking, I feel like I look for him to give me any bit if affection or attention to be happy. When I don't have it, I'm lost. It makes me sound do weak and insecure. I hate that. He knows how bothered I am. Is this his way of still having control over me? I hate the emotional rollercoaster.
It's funny. A high school friend contacted me last night for the first time on twenty years and I smiled so much to hear his voice. For just a small bit of time, I was happy. Shouldn't I be feeling this way more? Especially since he's not drinking?
omg! im going through the SAME thing.
i feel the EXACT same way. since my ah has NOT been drinking and on medication he has been distant. its almost like he cant stand to be around me or talk to me. its been frustrating me beyond belief and lonely!
my ah knows it bothers me also and assures me he still loves me etc but he is just not there. No , a relationship, a marriage is NOT suppost to be like that. we should feel wanted and secure and even without alcohol in the middle....recovery is.
Ive been going through many emotions with this and even though i am still hurt and upset, i am telling myself its just something the alcoholic does when in recoveery. sometimes it takes awhile and so i am trying to be positive and keep it together. doing things for myself has helped but like you, there is still a void and a lonesome that he is changing possibly us in different directions . stay strong and enjoy looking after yourself and your recovery. time heals and things will get better no matter what