Hi and welcome. I haven't been on this site very long but there is a lot of help here IF you can ACCEPT it. It takes time, usually it takes years to get to this point and unlike driving a car we can't hit the brakes and quickly recover to living a sober life. It takes that 4 letter word TIME which I hated and acted like a kicking child with all my AH BUTS. Years later I operate with the fact that if I don't pick up the first drink I don't have to get sober ever AGAIN! BE WELL