Gusbrooklynny

Ten days sober and still struggling. Coming off year and a half binge with a three bundle a day habit. Had a year plus clean prior. I was going to control it this time, we all know how that works out. I used to be able to bounce back in 3-5 days. How much longer? The mind plays tricks, go get a few bags a feel all better. Do not want to through the time in away. Start thinking why be sober what's the difference, what does it matter? Thanks for listening and the help.

Gilmer

It's a lot cheaper, for one thing, and your personality really does become more pleasant (even though you may not personally feel pleasant for awhile). You become more competent at life. See a doctor if you haven't already. Hang in there! You'll see in time that sobriety is worth it.

Gusbrooklynny

I have been at it 20 plus years. I know all the right answers yet I continue, with some breaks in between. I know I am a better person and parent when sober. Just trying to fight the good fight today thanks.

visch1

Hi and welcome. I haven't been on this site very long but there is a lot of help here IF you can ACCEPT it. It takes time, usually it takes years to get to this point and unlike driving a car we can't hit the brakes and quickly recover to living a sober life. It takes that 4 letter word TIME which I hated and acted like a kicking child with all my AH BUTS. Years later I operate with the fact that if I don't pick up the first drink I don't have to get sober ever AGAIN! BE WELL

FamilyMan2153

Give yourself a break. You have spent 20 years lost in the woods. You can't just walk out in 10 days! You are doing great. You can see when your disease is trying to work on you, lie to you, talk to you. It can be so subtle but now you recognize it and know you cannot go back. Get through today, just today and let us know how you feel tomorrow. Good luck.

Gusbrooklynny

I always say man makes plans and God laughs. Time goes by so fast, wish I could get it back. So much time , money and heart ache, what a waste. Yet I continued on. Opiates and heroin have cost me so much, wive, children and love. I don't love dope at this point I love to hate it. The best time I had was the year plus when I was sober. Things were much easier then. I always wonder how did I get from point a to point b junkie. Heroin does not discriminate.

Gusbrooklynny

Day 11 first day I actually feel things are getting better. Still a bit shakey but mind is getting clearer. Still no sleep with intrusive thoughts of dope. Have a appointment today to see if I can get into intensive out patient therapy. They have already spoken to me about the use of naltrexone and then a monthly shot to prevent the effects of opiates/heroin. Anybody ever go this route? Any thoughts would be appreciated. One day at a time.

Gusbrooklynny

Day 14 clean & sober. Still a bit shakey but much better. Very emotional, regaining taste and feelings. I can appreciate a even keel. I don't miss the highs and lows or the time money and chase of making sure I wouldn't be dope sick. Color is back in my face and I am not ashen gray, have life back in my eyes and not the look of death. I must replace all that time and effort of getting drugs and getting high with meetings, positive people and things. Heroin has taken my spirit, my drive, my ambition, my money, my time and I missed the first 5 years of my children's lives, lost my marriage, my love I just couldn't over come it. It has robbed me of who I am. I was fun and vibrant, hard working good husband, father and provider all gone. I am a broken person. Where are they all now? When you have dope and money they are all your friends. I know I am a better person today than yesterday and even better than 2 weeks ago. Why do I still toy with the idea of using knowing what this has done to me and my life? I get tired of the monkey on my back but I will stay strong and sober for today. By the grace of god go I.

mecanix

I believe i've heard some others call that addiction apathy . 14 days

Stick with us , it might be painful and difficult to deal with being clean sober but it's worthwhile .

Bestwishes, M

Gusbrooklynny

Day 15 clean and sober. Getting some fight and drive back in me. Still not sleeping so well and had a dream that I found a bunch of dope. Have a dull headache but feeling much better, getting my strength back. I will do what I have to do to stay sober today. I will avoid the people, places and things that have fueled my addiction. Hit a meeting and take care of me. Sometimes it is minutes at a time but I will make today a sober one.

yukonm

Congratulations on 15 days. It will get better and better with each passing day. Yes, meetings will help. Face-to-face support is important. Have an open mind and focus on the similarities and not the differences. Get telephone numbers and use them. Hang in there, you can do it and YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Dee74

way to go on your progress gus

D

Gusbrooklynny

Day 16 and sober. It's going to be a tough day. This is the first time I don't have much to do. I will Try to enjoy the day just being sober, it seems so different but good. I know it is the right thing to do but it is as if I must learn how to live again without drugs. I keep reminding myself of all the time, energy and money that goes into being an addict and all the damage it has caused in my life. I can't throw the time away and I certainly don't want to go through withdrawl again. For me,right now it is one minute, hour and day at a time.

Dave42001

Keep up the great work, Gus!! Stay busy.. Take it one day at a time!! Wishing you the best!!

Gusbrooklynny

I have made the worst decisions while using. Sober the things I have done, the places I have been and the people I have associated with are not even a consideration. You're words speak volumes thanks