(if you are a stay-at-home mom or overweight, please DO NOT take this as critical...I don't mean it that way)
I was just thinking a little more about my disappointment, and where it stems from. I grew up with a 300 pound stay-at-home mother. She always explained that she was doing what she wanted to do, however, as I grew older I learned how much she hated herself for being big. I always thought she really let herself down as far as doing more in her life to make HERSELF happy; whether it's a job, volunteering...some sort of passion, because, she really is a great woman. But for her, her addiction was known by ALL the minute she walked in a room, and she had tons of shame. For us, we can hide what a mess we are with alcohol a bit....no one needs to know how hungover you are. Well, here I am now, an adult, a mom...and I'm not overweight (well I could shed a few pounds, but nothing crazy) and I feel I have become her. Not pursuing anything..not wanting to commit to many things because I may be hangin like a dog...or if its a night thing, I want to stay home so I can drink. I cannot believe that happened; different addiction, same behaviors.
Anyhow...just some self analysis that maybe someone can relate to...it's a new day right....4th day and holding strong. I can start being in charge of my life vs taking a back seat.