You are not alone. I also have the chatter in my head. Except mine is about bullies at work, me refusing to settle for the dusch that been stocking me for last two years, people like my mother who just wants me to breed, .... (this is not an insult) but you are exactly describing what makes me hiperventilate right now. So the point im trying to make is the grass on the other side is not greener. I am an alcoholic too. I think for the chatter to stop we need to find a balancee between the two opposites.