Originally Posted by
dreamer26 
Hammer dont worry I'm not taking offense and I think a part of me has a little danial left in me like "he's not like that".. My Fiancé has never gone to jail for his use and has had enough money through his job to keep up his habits.. He's a functioning addict until he started freebasing coke.. (I guess it's considered crack).. He used that for only a month and his health was on serious decline mentally and physically. I DO want to go to a meeting but have issues with crying.. I'm a weepy person and know ill cry or something and get embarrassed.. I'm going to go to a meeting soon though!
Thanks. No offense intended, just figured you were working down your excuse list. If you think about that, it may give you (and me) a little compassion for the (ok, OUR) addicts. We just want to find reasons to duck crying in public. Look how much more they are having to duck.
About the crying. Yeah. We all do. Yes, ALL of us. Think that sucks for you? Consider that I am a 6 foot, 180 lbs, former Combat Arms officer, Advanced degrees, construction engineer . . . . and every time I start getting real and get peanut butter mouth and start sob-talking and my voice starts getting real high . . . and I Cannot Control any of it . . . and then all the Al-a-nannies start circling around with the tissues. I hate the God Damn tissues. Let me have a scrap of dignity and wipe the snot on my arm/sleeve . . . .
It sucks. It really does. Being made into a p000y in front of a bunch of women. Because of another stupid addict woman. I really hate being a p000y.
Everybody cries at least one time or another. And then you hear the funking drunks next door in the AA room are laughing about their latest drunk-a-log. Well overall, a lot to Hate and a lot to Resent.
Some cry the first meeting and start getting better quick. Some try to do the frozen smile on the face and the longest I have seen that work is maybe two months -- tops. They all wind up sobbing, too. And then start getting better.
So get it over it, Sister. Go suck it up. Cry. Blow your nose when they hand you the tissues. It makes the Al-a-nannies all feel better rescuing you or something.
Anyway . . . one last time . . .
GO.