"1) She is apparently blaming her drinking on me. I was too demanding and added too much pressure in her life. She could never measure up, or could not do anything right. She was always walking on eggshells. I was too hard on the kids." (crazed)
But she stayed in a relationship with your for 13 Years????? So if you were this horrible person, why did she keep calling you, every time her world shattered? I have asked myself over and over, do they really believe the crap that comes out of their mouths? Is this how their drunken brain processes information? Are they playing the martyr
here? Do they really believe they are a victim? Just WOW!!
You do realize that speaking with the Aunt is probably not good for you and your recovery.
I do not believe the Aunt said one thing that would be considered helpful or positive. Whether it was intentional or not, what she told you must have been hurtful for you.
Of course the decision remains yours, but if i were in your situation, I would end all contact with the aunt. Your wounds are pretty raw, and she is just pouring salt on them.
Be well, my friend.