I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum in my relationship. I've had no drive for a long time. My low self-esteem, my lack of passion for life in general, me always feeling like the parent/adult in the less-than-equitable relationship all played into it...and then when the drinking got bad, I was just done - I was having a hard enough time allowing myself to be vulnerable and intimate to begin with, and I certainly didn't have any drive to sleep with the thing that my husband became when alcoholism reared its ugly head. He would focus on the lack of a physical relationship, and I would focus on the lack of an emotional relationship. For me, it comes down to having that emotional intimacy. I can't do the physical part if I don't feel the emotional connection and if I don't feel good in my own skin.