It was ok, but hasn't been great in years. I just feel lonely... It's hard not to feel unattractive and self-deprecating, like I must be a troll or something. I know now he's going through so much just trying to stay sober.. That's why I'm trying to heal myself, I can't expect anything from him because he needs every ounce of energy to be healthy for himself.. But it does feel like we are getting more and more distant every day, like friends or roommates. He teased me the other day about something silly, just as a joke (I did some nonsense that reminded him of an old roomie) and he called me "bro" just trying to be funny and I broke down and cried for hours.. If things were functional I probably would have laughed too. When I said there's no professional help that wasn't entirely accurate. He's under Dr supervision and on medications (including antabuse) just no therapy or counseling.