Originally Posted by
BlueSkies1 
There's a whole lot of resentments that haven't been worked through. Until the resentments stop and are replaced by wanting to forgive, work together, etc., neither will the obfuscation, minimalization, and sabotage.
If someone minimalizes your concerns, whether it be snakes or anything else, call them out on it. Cal it exactly what it is. Makes a person look at themselves and makes them realize that you know they are trying to diminish the validity of your feelings by dismissing them. And that works both ways for all in partnerships...that we have to remember.
Yes!!! And, you know what I did this AM after posting here? I went to him, told him I was going to Lowes and I expected him to come and help me get the stuff I needed to fix the fencing or else I was calling an expensive snake removal/fencing company to come do it. I told him it was important for all of us that we try the best we can to keep the snakes out of the yard. He said, "I'll help. Just let me get a few things done for work." So, we all went out, bought the stuff we needed, even went to lunch together as a family, and then had civil discussions about how we were going to tackle this project.
He even helped me pick up the decorative edging I was going to put up to keep the dog out of my flower bed areas! Now, was he super friendly and communicative? Not really, but he was helpful enough and it looks like we're going to at least try to get things done around here.
He also agreed to go to a party that a friend of mine is hosting tomorrow night. He could have stayed home with our son but he said he'd come with me. I was really surprised because he hasn't been too interested in hanging out with my friends at all in the past few years.