Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Moving on, eh?
As I've mentioned in other posts, when the relationship with my AXGF ended, I did not mourn the loss of her, or the loss of the relationship. She did the one thing that I said I would not tolerate under any circumstances. So she was gone.
What I had to look at was my own choices and decisions all along the way with her. And in hindsight, I made decisions based on fear. I thought I loved her and didn't want to lose her, and I'm pretty sure she knew that. But at the same time, we clashed because there were things she did that weren't appropriate and I held my ground most of the time on those issues. It was unhealthy from the get go, and she gave me a huge, huge gift when she left. And I have no caring, warmth, or love for her in any way whatsoever.
These days, I have no wish for a romantic relationship. I have no desire to marry. Doesn't mean I'm incapable of caring about a woman, or even loving a woman in that way. But what it does mean is I'm still learning what it's like to be self-reliant and not depend on others to fill holes in me that I should fill by myself.
ZoSo