I ask her what she wants..
Anyhow no intention on derailing the OP in any way. My initial intention was to say I sympathize with you because I am in what sounds like a similar situation.
I personally do not want or need my wife to cheer lead for me. I want her to find happiness for herself in whatever way she chooses.
I have changed a lot too and so have the roles in our relationship. I would recommend talking to him about how you feel. My wife does not. I try to get it out of her and get no response. Time takes time and I hope we will eventually fill a role where both of us are happy.
If she is happy I am sober that is great, if not that is not anything I can change or fix.
Best of luck