Caught in The Loop Once Again
You guys have said it all to me before. You guys have all shared your stories and I had read them all with deep sympathy and understanding. I left my AH with the support of you guys last May. I was so strong as explained to him that this was it. I firmly said that I am getting an apartment on my own. I spoke to a lawyer and paid him for his visits.
My mistake, however, is answering AH's calls. He sobered up. He called. I ignored a few times, but I caved. I answered those calls. My heart melted when he told me that was it. He was done. He started therapy and AA. He was happy, I was happy, but he wanted me by his side. We went to marriage counseling, and actually have been going since. I explained how I felt. He stated that I will not ever have to worry about this again. He was seriously done he said. He signed an agreement stating that if he drank again he understands that I am gone. I moved back home.
Times got stressful, and he checked out. He picked it up again the beginning of February. He told me a week later and started AA. He went every day. That lasted about two weeks. He did not like AA. I began to see signs again the ending of March. I understand everyone falls off. Last night was bad. Tonight is even worse. The difference now is we had taken in our niece for temporary guardianship. She needed a stable home to finish out her school. Her father is AH’s brother and is chemically dependent on anything he can get. Meth is his choice at the moment. Our niece is 17, and highly intelligent in drug/alcohol abuse. I’m glad I have that signed agreement, because now I have to leave- for myself. I cannot ride this ride again. That agreement was breeched by him, but I still can hold it whole. It tears me to pieces, but I can’t keep this up.
Question now is what about the niece? She goes to school blocks from the house, and is very behind her grade level.