Recovery1983, My entire live has been nothing but a nightmare. That is why when I turned to alcohol it felt as if I was in reality. Suicide is also a part of my story however, at a younger age. I told myself I would never turn into my biological parents ... ever ... I drank more alcohol than my biological mother ever said that she loved me. Raised in a jacked up home where "love" was only a wish. I had to teach myself how to be tough; real tough. When **** hit the fan I had a drink in my hand and a clenched up fish waiting to pound someone. All I saw was the "love" to addictions and alcohol within my family. Here I am at 24 living a life I swore I would never live. Now, I have decided that I have to do this for me and no one else is going to do it for me.