My husband has been in AA for over a year, happily and successfully working his program. Initially I felt a real sense of shock and abandonment since I thought I was the person he would turn to about his inner-most feelings. And I was the last to know that he was in AA! Apparently he didn't feel he could speak to me about his struggle with alcohol (which was not at all like what I read on this board every day - he was a 2 - 3 glass of wine a day drinker, after dinner to relax, high functioning, big job, never drunk, etc). Anyway, now he has several AA "friends" who he speaks to very often, at least one of them every day - probably more than he speaks to me. From this sense of abandonment came resentment; its taken me a year to get that under control and to realize that just as I can't be all things for him, neither can he be all things for me. I've been working on myself and its been a year of enormous personal growth, but the relationship has really really changed, a lot. I don't think we've yet found the new normal, and I am sad to have lost what we had before all of this began. But then again, what we had before obviously had its issues or we both would have dealt with this situation differently. Meanwhile, I'm busy picking up the pieces and trying to find a happy path forward. Good luck to you.