God can and does forgive you. He has shown me His forgiveness by relieving me of the obsession to drink and by providing me with opportunities to be of service and live a purposeful life. He can do it for you as well. I am glad to hear that you will be attending meetings. The 12 steps when worked to the best of our ability will allow God to enter our lives and relieve the obsession to drink. The key is working the steps in order to achieve the promised spiritual awakening. You can do it my friend! Get plugged in and stay plugged in.