Nighty night possum - but when you read this in (your) morning:
You have no idea how much those last few paragraphs resonated with me. The ones about having been [fill in the different blanks] into all manner of different things about town - I quite liked the Hunter S reference :-) - and so forth. And now, social anxiety. Ech?
A while ago either here on SR or in my own (rather poorly tended) journals, I remarked something similar. AKA 'maybe I've always been a bit of an introvert, more or less?'. And ergo: '....maybe my years of drugs / boozing fooled me into believing, even feeling, that I wasn't...or something?'
This topic, in itself, seems to preoccupy heaps of us, I've noticed. Not all, but a lot. Hummm. Yes, I've done quite a bit of research on this stuff too. And that's OK too, i.e. to wonder about how we change as the years go by.
That's good to do, and frankly, kinda healthy, regardless of our addict or otherwise 'conditions'. There are many other factors in play too in our kinds of society which make the imperative to / how to socialise really quite a drag imho.
Just my thoughts, blossom.
See you sometime in your tomorrow (or is that my tomorrow?). Anyway, see ya soon.