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GFORCE'S totally NEW, Totally AWESOME thread! ;)

Old 04-09-2013, 10:39 PM
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GFORCE'S totally NEW, Totally AWESOME thread! ;)

Hey there Y'all,

O.k, I hope that some of you who were clamoring for me to start a new thread jump over here, and it's not just me twiddling my thumbs listening to crickets.

So, here I am am at almost 3 months sober.

I haven't been going to my meetings lately, because I have had my kid 24/7 over spring break, and my husband's now working away from home--and I'm wondering if that's contributing to some of the inner sobriety conflict I've been going through lately.

<<However, I just realized while typing this, that I do have the car this time around so maybe I could and should hit up a couple a' noon meetings.>>

Anyway, I'm experiencing a bit of what Robby Robot has called "Addiction Ambivalence." As in, I'm really fighting the part of my brain that wonders what I am doing this (not drinking) for, exactly. (Obvious reasons, not withstanding.)

Other than that, I have nothing exiting to report. I am watching the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert hour, and starting this thread about... nothing. It's like Seinfeld.

So, I'm pretty whooped after a big work out yesterday at the gym, and a few trail rides on my new MTB rig.

Nighty night. I hope no one was expecting a more exiting thread, based on the title.

Cheers.
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Old 04-09-2013, 10:51 PM
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:02 PM
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Ha ha ha!
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:06 PM
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I would love to get to the place where sobriety is just a given.
Where it's just like breathing.
It's taken for granted.
I'm still working at it though. Even though I just passed my first month mark. Yay!
I've got some songs to finish up and I really haven't picked up the guitar since I stopped drinking. Just got in the habit of drinking and playing and now that's a habit that I'm going to smash though. I want my playing to come from me - nothing else.

Seems to me like Addiction Ambivalence could be a plateau. A step on a ladder. A foundation to build onů sorry out of metaphors.

Sleepy time for me.
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:08 PM
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Pg. 324 Rational Recovery:The New Cure For Substance Addiction:
Addiction exists only in a state of ambivalence, in which one strongly wants to continue drinking alcohol or using other drugs, but also wants to quit or at least reduce the painful consequences.
It's that experience of "being of two minds" and it can be maddening. Anyone who has ever been addicted is familiar with that ambivalence, to some degree.
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:08 PM
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Okay I have listened to that cricket one before going to sleep. Those nature sounds work!!

If I don't go to meetings I also get the weird thinking. I try to go 3 times a week if possible. Also the chat room meetings here rock!
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:17 PM
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THAT IS TOTALLY FR*&^%ING AWESOME Clearlight!!!! Way to go!

Woop WOOP!





Seriously, congrats on one month

Now, I really, really, really am, going to bed.

Cheers!
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Old 04-10-2013, 07:29 AM
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If I don't go to meetings I also get the weird thinking. I try to go 3 times a week if possible. Also the chat room meetings here rock!
Yeah - I find that I have to be involved in my sobriety everyday. That might mean coming to this site and posting or something that I physically do to keep it real in my life.

Maybe that's like working out - it has to became part of the daily routine.
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Old 04-10-2013, 07:46 AM
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Originally Posted by ClearLight View Post
Yeah - I find that I have to be involved in my sobriety everyday. That might mean coming to this site and posting or something that I physically do to keep it real in my life.

Maybe that's like working out - it has to became part of the daily routine.
Me too! I can't just stop drinking and not do anything. It just doesn't work for me. It took me 47 years to get screwed up, it will probably take that long to get my mind right again!

My dad quit drinking and he went to AA 3 times a week for 10 years before he passed away.

I come here everyday too! It keeps me sane.
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Old 04-10-2013, 09:05 AM
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MORNIN'!

I've been up since probably, 5:00 am! Yay, I love starting my day out tired. Yep, that was irony.

So, yeah, I hear everybody about staying connected with your sobriety and why your doing it. I may not have sponsor, and I don't really call people, but the meetings do really help me stay anchored in what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Also, since I haven't been socializing much in any other way, I don't feel quite as isolated when I go to meetings, as it gets me out amongst people--and, as an added bonus, I don't have to explain myself to anyone there!

However, coming here has helped me at least as much, if not more. I've come here almost daily for three months--actually probably longer, as I was coming here while I was getting ready to make the leap. However, I think I'm going to suck it up and phone a few people this morning, just so their not worried about me (if indeed, they actually are...) and I think I'll go to a meeting today while my son's in school. I got caught up on most of my household chores yesterday, so I don't have anything to pressing I feel like I need to be doing here at the house... besides the fridge needing a clean-out and the recycling mess in the basement--but my kid likes to help with that, so we'll take care of it after school. He's trying to make more change for Lego, so I told him I'd give him a few loonies to help out.

Other than that, I also have some old friends who are very dear to me, who have been sober for 6 and a half, and 4 and a half years, respectively, who continue to really have my back and are there for me to talk to about what I'm going through whenever they have time. So, I may not have an official "sponsor" but I do have some "sober elder's" so to speak who have a lot credibility with me, because they are my good friends, and I've known them both long before they quit drinking. It actually helps me to think, well, if not one but TWO of the ladies I love and respect most in the world have done this and are doing it, then I can get over these hurdles and do it as well.

Anyway, SR chat rooms, you say? I've never been over there... maybe I'll check it out here at some point. I definitely feel the need to be doing more about what my mental processes have been, so I am open to anything.

Hey there Soberlicious, Yeah, it is maddening. I was just telling my aforementioned girlfriends that I wish I could just lobotomize the drinking part of my brain. However, it does help for me to think of it as a "wiring issue." Thinking about it as a biological/psychological brain wiring issue depersonalized it so that I don't start berating myself for there being something "wrong" with me. I find it helps to think of it like a medical problem--even though I don't really buy that alcoholics or alcohol abuser's have an "allergy" to alcohol, it is helpful to put it in that context whether it's technically true or not.

Anyway, gotta run folks--got to get out of this warm but frumpy housecoat, and into something more respectable to get my kid to school!

I'm really glad to see you all here.
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Old 04-10-2013, 09:28 AM
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I'm glad you have supportive friends. I only keep people around me who support me.

I haven't found a sponsor yet either. The meetings I go to don't have a lot of women in them and most of them are just starting out!

Hope you have a great day today!
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Old 04-10-2013, 10:34 AM
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Clearlight..That crickets and Neil Sedaka thing was hilarious
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Old 04-10-2013, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by SophieB View Post
Clearlight..That crickets and Neil Sedaka thing was hilarious
Yeah, Clearlight's talented with the hilarious and finding extremely random but appropriate song choices!
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:27 AM
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So,

About that social anxiety! Now, I've been looking forward to and preparing for, this whole ladies Wed. night group ride, since last year. It started up last week, but I had just gotten home from the Island, and I had just gotten my bike, so I didn't go. So, it's happening again tonight, and my son's grandmother is coming over to hang out with him, and I've got the jitters, and I keep finding myself coming up with "reasons" not to go!

What the heck! I have something in common with these ladies, and I'm trying to weasel out of it! For a while I wasn't even consciously aware that I was trying to weasel out, it's just that I had these really good reasons why I might not be able to make it, such as: I'm waiting for a new water bladder for my pack, as the one I have leaks all over me. So...you see--oh that, and my old red helmet does not "go" with my new bike...aha. So, I thought I'd wait till' next week when I get all my new gear. Right. Check. Do you see how crazy this is?

Anyway, I'll check back later!

Cheers guys, and thanks for popping over to my totally awesome, totally new thread!

Anyway.
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:27 AM
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The more sober I get the more crazy I get.

:bounce
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:38 PM
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G...you are absolutely right. Since you can't lobotomize (and that would cut out some other good necessary stuff anyway) you've figured out that you CAN separate from the part that wants to drink and make it "not you". This is very effective for the purpose of quitting. It's easy to recognize that side that's bugging you to drink, and just say "STFU..you're ideas are always dumb...NO" and go on about your day doing cool sh*t like mountain biking and playin guitar and being a mom and making new friends on the trail.....
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Old 04-10-2013, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
G...you are absolutely right. Since you can't lobotomize (and that would cut out some other good necessary stuff anyway) you've figured out that you CAN separate from the part that wants to drink and make it "not you". This is very effective for the purpose of quitting. It's easy to recognize that side that's bugging you to drink, and just say "STFU..you're ideas are always dumb...NO" and go on about your day doing cool sh*t like mountain biking and playin guitar and being a mom and making new friends on the trail.....
Yeah Soberlicious,

That's what I keep doing. Fortunately, the day I decided to quit I was in X-TRA strength bad shape, so it's still pretty easy for me to drum up that memory when I need something to counter act all the other "but it would be so great" malarkey.

Speaking of guitar Clearlight: I noticed you said that you haven't played yours in a while--me neither. My callouses are gone, and stuff I worked so hard to nail, is eluding me again. I hate it when I put the thing down for a while. I was really prioritized playing for a couple of years, and now that I'm mountain biking and all the rest, my playing and my sewing/clothes making has fallen by the wayside. HOWEVER, I am going to pick up my Takemine today, and see if I can't learn to bang out Bob Marely's "Waiting in Vain," because it's a beautiful song, and since I heard it the other day, I can't stop walkin' around singing it! So, one of these days, I may start a new thread, called "Cafe ala Gforce," and post video's of me performing songs. I thought that would be fun, because I can't actually see any of you to wonder if you are thinking that I suck.

Anyway, I'm spring cleaning the house today, and thinking through my next chapter in not drinking. I was glad that I coincidentally talked to my old friend who is sober 4 and 1/2 years, and started my new thread today. Thanks for the sober safety net, everyone!

Cheers!
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Old 04-10-2013, 05:11 PM
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Hey Gforce, I'm rapt you've started this totally awesome new thread, m'dear!

Personally, I reckon your wonderfully droll sense of humour will keep you going - it certainly keeps me laughing, which is in very short supply in my current daily life.

So thank you!

And yeh, where DOES Clearlight FIND all these totally apt-for-the-moment youtube videos? Ya don't happen to have shares or something in YouTube do ya, Clear? :-)
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Old 04-10-2013, 09:42 PM
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bemyself- hey people aspire to greatness in different ways. Some transplant hearts, some seek the true nature of the universe - I find groovy videos on you tube.

you CAN separate from the part that wants to drink and make it "not you".
Maybe that's like building a new self identity where you just don't envision yourself as a drinker. I know when I was living the bartender life I saw myself as a professional drinker.
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Old 04-10-2013, 09:49 PM
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Yey, Clear - well put: while I'm seeking the true nature of the universe, you just keep it up finding us the grooves on YouTube!!!

'God only knows where [we'd] be without you-uuuu....' (was also used on some fab fillum a while back....'Love Actually?')

heheh, bet you'll find that one too. Bless ya!

Anyway, carry on Gforce :-)
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