Originally Posted by
Fallow 
my wife is not always my cheerleader, let alone the biggest cheerleader.
She never went so far as to try to get me to drink but I have had the impression at times she really did not support my recovery at all.
By the time an alcoholic finally gets sober, the pom-poms are a bit frayed. I read your other thread, Fallow, and it sounds like you have been somewhat oblivious to the effect your drinking probably had on your wife and on your marriage.
I've been in two marriages to alcoholics (one got sober and still is today, 33 years later, and the other went back to drinking). I also am a recovered alcoholic with four and a half years of sobriety. Alcoholic marriages are very, very difficult, and marriages in early sobriety are no picnic, either. It isn't the job of the nonalcoholic partner to be a cheerleader for anyone's recovery except his/her own. Sobriety is its own reward. We don't deserve pats on the back from people we've hurt for doing what we should have been doing all along. Other people we have hurt have a right to feel that hurt, and it's their responsibility to work through their resentments, just as it's our responsibility to work through our own.
kkelly, I think you will find Al-Anon to be a great help to you during this time. I also suggest that your read the chapters in the Big Book, "To Wives" and "The Family Afterward." The book was written in 1939, so it is rather dated in terms of the gender roles ascribed to men and women, but it's still pretty accurate when it comes to the feelings that both parties can experience after sobriety.