harryblack

day 6 + : hi all, sorry i have missed a few days (don't worry im still sober!) i shall explain why. on day 6 i began to feel so uncomfortable in my own skin that i decided i needed to tell someone what was going on. i thought that this online community would have been enough so that i wouldn't have to tell my friends or family but after nearly a week i decided i couldnt do it on my own anymore.

at about 9 am on day 6 i rang my dad and told him everything and soon after arranged a taxi to get me over there ( i haven't driven since day 1) and he was great, it was so much easier having shared what i was going through with someone who could reply without typing. anyway i hadn't taken any spare clothes etc with me as i hadn't planned anything beyond getting in that taxi but i ended up staying for a few days in my childhood bedroom borrowing some comfy clothes from my dad.

i cant really separate the days enough to walk you through each day but it has been over a week now so in the last few days the night sweats have stopped, sleep is still hard to come by but when it does the dreams are less vivid and certainly more "normal" as far as dreams go. i didnt have my laptop or radio at my dads, only his company but i am now able to sleep without the radio. my appetite is a little better but i think will take some time to get to where it should be. i am still a little shaky at times but it is not as constant as it was, mainly if i am holding something heavy e.g pouring from a jug of water or if i am nervous e.g paying the taxi driver. i spent my time at dads talking, watching tv, playing cards and swimming (highly recommend swimming, it can be as little or as much exercise as you feel you can do, i went for as little as possible but it helped!).

as far as "zalfa" is concerned, whilst i think it is unusual to grade people's withdrawal experiences, you are right, so far i have been lucky but that is down to how i have reacted physically, the last thing i want to do is give people the impression that this isnt serious. every single attempt at kicking alcohol addiction is extremely serious as you do not know how you will react physically. quitting is still the lesser of two evils, it was not quitting that killed my mother.

i have not mentioned how much i used to drink, i do not think that is helpful at all as it may give people the impression that they are beyond quitting if they drink more than i did (i am saying "did" from now on). i think it is entirely down to how you are responding to withdrawal, everyone will be different regardless of quantities, but as dee74 has said, get down to the doctors if you need to.

i am over the worst of it and i will be back to work tomorrow. i havent smoked since that awful cigarette a few days ago. social anxiety is my next hurdle, this is one of the many stains that alcohol leaves once it has drained away. i guess that it will take a while to remove and is simply a case of getting used to being out in public alcohol free.

its now 10:22 am - i am generally a bit tired but still feeling better than i have for years. my dry eyes has been a big issue for me so now i have eye drops which have helped a lot. i will be going on another walk today, all the way in to town to meet a friend who was pretty surprised to hear i wanted to meet at the coffee place rather than the pub (it is only you and my dad who know i have quit). i dont drink coffee but i assume they will have other drinks!

i don't think i really have anything else noteworthy to say from here on, things are easing up and my days are becoming gradually better. i hope this has been remotely useful even if just to one person.

p.s i did change my sheets and use a different towel for the night sweats, this is highly recommended!

p.p.s thank you all for your kind messages and helpful advice