Dear wanttobehealthy, you are clearly being abused by him---in a calculated and deliberate way he is harrassing and trying to terrorize you.
This thought occurs to me---what bout contacting the national domestic abuse organization and ask for a referral to an experienced EXPERT in this field that is LOCAL to you. They have seen the most savage situations and can get involved in your situation and be your advocate in court proceedings. They know ways that we may not have ever thought of---have contacts for all of the possible resources.
Another thought---call the staff of your congressman and ask that they give you referral to a domestic violence expert or better legal defense (that you can't afford). Our congressman's office has never failed to be helpful--no matter how bizarre the request seems.
I am just trying to brainstorm here.....if it isn't, helpful, please just disregard this post. You have so much on your plate.
We will support you, no matter what.
sincerely, dandylion