You keep saying you're afraid to turn away because you don't want to cause him to use/binge again. But nothing you say/do or DON'T say/do will have ANY impact on whether or not HE CHOOSES to use again. Don't carry that undeserved burden of guilt on your shoulders and don't let HIM put it on you. Whether he stays clean or goes back to using, neither decision has anything to do with you - HE is the only one who can make himself use or not use again. I would hate to see you jeopardize a potentially GOOD relationship with someone who cares about you over your XABF's addiction, which most likely is going to be present in his life for a long time to come....please take care of you and put your needs first. ((hugs))