Thank you KE!!!!!!!!
You know in those first years of my recovery from alcoholism and drug use, after I did my 12 steps, I started to realize that I and others were just about everything you listed above, that we were EXTREMELY sensitive folks and that was probably one of the reasons for most of us to why we were using alcohol and/or drugs to NUMB ourselves.
Then as most of you know, on my 3rd AA Birthday, my sponsor strongly suggested actually said outright "I want you to get your butt to Alanon TODAY, and you are to get an Alanon sponsor. Well sheesh, I didn't need Alanon, not me, but the 'people pleaser' or rather 'sponsor pleaser' that I was at the time I went that day.
I found out at my very first meeting that one of the ladies I knew from my 'home group' was also in Alanon, a "double winner" and I asked her to be my Alanon sponsor and she agreed. Very quickly she had me start 'working' those 12 steps again, but this time from the 'Alanon perspective.'
It was then I started to see that in reality I had been a codependent from early age on, and that yes, not only did I 'self medicate' with the alcohol and drugs (found this out later) but I was definitely making myself as NUMB as possible so 'ALL' those things in life that made me want to 'protect and fix' others would go away. I am sure that is why I see more and more A's that are working a good program of recovery, start coming to Alanon meetings also, roflmao YEP, a lot of us A's are ALSO codependent! And not knowing how to handle that, we drink/use to get numb and ........pretty soon we have crossed that 'invisible line' into addiction.
I, and others, became very comfortable in the throes of our addiction and did not realize just how bad it was, even when others tried to tellus. We lived in an 'altered reality' and alcohol/drugs were our BFF above everyone else!!!
I have always stated that Alanon gave me a different perspective on those beautiful 12 steps and a more 'all encompassing view' of the 'principles' of those step, and how to live by those 'principles'.
By 'living' those principles on a daily basis I have gained 'balance' in my life and peace and serenity most of the time, lmao. It is still 'progress not perfection' for this A/codependent! How do I do this?
just for today, I practice kindness, thoughtfulness and consideration to all who cross my path and I treat them as I would like to be treated.
Now I will readily admit that some days are better than others but as long as I go to bed at night, having done a tenth step, and know without a 'shadow of a doubt' that I did the 'best' I could do that day, then I am content. It wasn't too very long after I started this 'practice' (yes I am still practicing, lol) that I realized that that short little statement, covered The Twelve Steps, The Ten Commandments. and The Golden Rule, all rolled up into one sentence, for me.
As part of my 2th step I come to SR to read and to post my own Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) and a lot of the time I learn a lot more than I 'give away', lol and that is as it should be. Keeps me open minded and aware of me.
Again thank you KE. This is another thread, that in my humble opinion should become a 'sticky', as an ongoing reminder to ALL of us.
Love and hugs,