I'm sorry you're going through such a sad time right now, Momzo. I agree, unfortunately, life isn't always fair. But we have to just deal with it, play the hand we're dealt and keep moving forward until it gets better - and it WILL get better. You're at almost 4 months and that is so great!! You made the decision that was best for you, despite still loving your ex, and you've stuck with it - you should be very proud of yourself!! It's normal to have these sad periods, even after you've been doing so well. We all know how hard it is to not be with someone we still love - but they don't love us back!! They love their DOC and that's ALL they love. As long as they are still in active addiction, they will ALWAYS choose their drug over us, and if we're REALLY honest with ourselves, that does not make for a happy, loving relationship and more times than not, we ended up being miserable. So just keep hanging in there, Momzo and keep reading and posting. This time will pass, and you'll once again be glad that you did the right thing for YOU. (((HUGS)))