VIG- He rarely wanted to do anything that was fun or real or active or playful or loving. It was always on his terms. In those beautiful but rare glimpses he would show up for a wonderful moment or even a whole day but there was always a black cloud of despair following closely behind. But those shiny and happy moments were like crack for a hopeless romantic like myself. I relish in those moments but I swear it was all an mirage, an illusion to keep me attached. He was playing a part. He was acting out a part for me. But he was not that. I believe it was all a game. I believe I got played by con-man and I am not just saying that because he is an addict. I do believe deep down he is good but he is so lost at this point. I do pray for him. I have just lost all hope for us.