I am so sorry for your pain. Your life is not a joke but I understand why you feel that way because I too have felt that way.
Jodie, I did need help! I finally had enough and started to work on me! It was the best thing I have ever done! You are not defined by what others do, think or say! That was a hard one for me to understand and accept but when I finally did, it was life changing!
Time to clean house of all the toxic people in your life and get healthy. It's hard work, but I promise you - you will never regret it!