I woke up this morning just crying, crying, crying. Yelling at God, wanting to die. I gave been through too much. My first divorce with a sex addict (who slept with my friends and neighbors) sent me to the ER because of severe depression and anxiety. Then I meet my xafiance and now he dumps me and moves on. I used to have a healthy self esteem; I am a model, make-up artist and have been on TV as well on a big/national show that I won't disclose. Yet I feel horrible inside, abandoned, rejected, dead. None of the things that should give me confidence make me feel any better, instead I feel even like a bigger loser. Because I gave all I had to him/them. Initial I was "all they dreamed of", "a dream girl" etc then they both lost interest. Discarded me. And now my brother stays in contact w my xafiance and they are buddy-buddy and go out and drink and do drugs together. My brother is an addict too....coke, opiates, alcohol. My older brother died in an accident when he was on drugs. I've just been through too much and don't have the strength anymore.