How do their minds work?? Sorry, long
A bit of a rant here...
A few months ago, I had a bit of a meltdown, lost my job, etc.For now, I am working a retail job. This entails working weekends. My h is in a bowling league, every other Saturday night.
First- the bowling issue. He had been on league a long time ago(his family and friend are in it) I didn;t care, as I did not bowl. Before kids, I would drop him off at 6, go home, get ready and show up at the alley about 9, to party for a while. After marriage and twins, he would just stay out, not coming home until MONDAY am. Needless to say, I had a lot of problems with this. A bit after this, the bowling, for everyone, kind of drifted away. A few years ago, his F&F started up again. He did not join, as his prior partner had moved. Then in May 2003, his brother died suddenly. He and his wife(I will call her R) were on a team with her sister and BIL (the King and Queen of the Party Palace) .. There was a mention that Hub would take Bro's place when the league started up again, but nothing was really said, so I forgot. Then, in August, R says something about bowling starting soon, and apparently, Hub has joined the team,without saying anything to me. I was very pi$$ed off. Hub's sister mentioned to me that she was getting a team together, and maybe I could be on it, but she then, of course, got the team together,without me. (honestly, I'm not sure if I WANTED to be on it, but I was annoyed she blew me off).. Bowling season of 2003-2004 sucked, as Sat night meant Sun would be at the Party Palace all day.
Cut to this season. Hub joins again. Again, everyone assumes that he will be on the same team. Neither he, nor anyone else, thought to ask if I would want to bowl. Then they say I should go on another team. Sorry, no. It would be wierd for me and my hub to be on seperate teams, and I would only do it if we could do it together. However, this year I work a lot of Sundays. I told Hub I did not want him doing it, but of course he does. I set a condition- he HAS to be home Sun AM by 6 am. If I have to work, I need to know that he is here. He agreed to that, agreed it was a workable "curfew", etc. And he had been pretty good about it. However, he did break it 4 or 6 weeks ago. Stupidly, I agreed to another chance.
Now, we get to this weekend. Fri nite he goes out, gets home Sat abt 11am. Our kids are dancing in a holiday thing at 1, have to be there by 12.. He thinks it would be a good idea if I drop them off, come home abt 12:45 to get him. Uh, no. I'm leaving at 11:30 and NOT coming back. So he gets a ride, watches the dance and goes home. This was a party thing, so I stayed until about 3.. Get home.. The girls were going to go to the bowling alley with him, but our neighbor had his daughter, and they wanted to play, so they stayed with me.As he was leaving he said he "hoped" that he would come home right after bowling. I meantioned that it really is not that hard- just get in the car and go. However, that is hard for him. I had to work Sun 10:30-4:30. Wake up Sun abt 6. No hub. I figure if I don't hear from him by 8, I will have to call off work. At 7, I luck out. Neighbor is going to Toys for Tots, and his mom is watching his daughter. She will watch mine too, and take them to the movies. Neighbor also lets me use his truck (did I mention we have 1 car and hub had it?? No word from Hub, all day. He stumbles in about 3 am monday. I heard him come in, but play asleep. He does not go to work yesterday. I did not even see him until dinner time. I was not planning to tell him dinner was ready, but my daughter did. He just came down, got something, went right back upstairs.
This morning, I am the taxi driver- drop girls off at school, him at work. As we are driving, I meantion that he is quitting bowling, right? After all he had made a promise, and broken it twice. His comment-- My staying out had nothing to do with bowling. I left the alley at 9:30...he went to the bar and met up with friends.OH- HUGE difference!!(not) I told him that he left for bowling, and did not come home. Therefore, it did have to do with bowling and he had to quit.
He was pretty annoyed about this. Couldn't I see the distinction?? Sorry, I can't. The bowling Xmas party is in 2 weeks. Well, sorry , I guess you'll have to miss it.
I really don;t know what will happen. I really doubt he will quit. And even if he does, he will get back at me by going to the alley anyway. What annoys me is that he expected that I would see the difference between bowling related binges and non bowling related binges, and cut him slack. (???) God forbid he should dissapoint his buddies!!!
Sorry for the long post. The bowling thing has annoyed me for a while., The only time I went up there was Oct 2003, as it was hub's birthday. He says people ask him all the time why I never go. Uh, why should I want to be around a bunch of drunks who have shown me that they have no consideration for me?? Sorry, I'll pass. a few weeks ago, I had to work on bowling night. They had all gone over Hub's other brother's house, to continue the party, and I went after work(abt 11:30) to get the kids. Just reinforced why I don't want to go- everyone was drunk and annoying. The King of the Party Palace is a particularly offiensive drunk- loses balance, gets too close, pees on himself, and rubs butts. Why would I want to be around them?