Thanks Cyranoak. Grandma is aware of that so real issues there. The problem is she just can't stop herself from talking to him. Anyway that is her problem and as long as she is not enabling him in a major way, I don't want to get too upset.
I have been to a Al-anon and a Nar-Anon meeting. Tell you the truth I did not find them as useful as these forums. I still will go to more to see if they click. I know the theory - the problem is the application and my stinking thinking.