So I will try to keep this short...
I have basically given up on my AH. Or maybe a better way of putting it... "let go" Any way he is riding the meth train to crazy town. I have seen his health deteriorate at a rapid pace lately. So I decieded about a month ago that someone in his family needs to know what is going on. So his mother ask me what is up. I took the opportunity to tell her.
At first I didn't want her to say any thing to him. Scared of his wrath. Then I thought.."who cares" I am planning on leaving anyway. I have pounded my head in the wall, begged him to get help, chased him down, begged for US to get help, cried, pleaded and yelled. You know the drill... He refuses. He pretty much wont even admit there is a problem.
So she goes and "talks" to him about a month ago. He says he just uses enough to "get by" He works 24/7 and uses that as an excuse. So then she acts like ok. I talked to him and everything is great, back to normal.
Last weekend she ask me what was up. Our kids keep her filled in that daddy doesn't come home. So I basically tell her nothing has changed. He doesn't come home and I am done. We have ZERO relationship left. (last week I had no contact with him for 3 days.) He is totally clueless and making horrible decisions with the business ect... She tells me she doesnt understand why he does the things he does. I tell her to google what meth does. So she does. I KNOW she doesn't understand how deep he is in. (I don't think I even know.. but because of this site I am slowly realizing how bad it is.) She can't understand him not coming home for 3 days to take a shower. ect... So she texts him. Tells him that he needs to work on this before its to late. Ie.. Me leaving with the kids.
So now the past few days he has come home. He didn't come home last night but he shows up this morning. See's the kids before they go to school and takes out the trash. Hahaha.... he hasn't taken the trash out EVER.
I know he is not clean. He is just putting on a show for his mother. But my problem is... I'm ANGRY! I don't want him there. I have told her that... don't make him come home, I say. It is easier when he is not there. And frankly I don't even want to look at his face at this point. He comes and makes promises to the kids he doesn't keep. I am furious at this point. I have also told her that I SURE don't want to be there when he "cleans up" He gets so nasty when he gets off of it. I have seen it. Not doing it again. and I told her that.
I know that she means well. And I know that she is saying "get your act together or you will lose your family" But at this point it's to little to late. I am just biding my time till I can leave. I have told her things will never get better if he doesn't change his work environment. She can talk to him till she is blue in the face. But the fact is he needs to get away from the people he surrounds himself with and GO TO REHAB! He can fake it all he wants but it means nothing to me. Just makes me in a bad mood. Cuz I am the one that has to deal with him coming home. She doesn't.
Thanks for letting me vent....
Maybe she will go away... It makes me not want to tell her anything. I just told her cuz I don't want his death on my head. I told her I was not going to be responsible for him in any way, any more. I guess I should be grateful. But I'm not. I just really resent him right now, and I'm angry... Even if he does clean up it is going to take a lot of work and time to fix this. It is not going to get fixed cuz you show up ONE day and take out the trash. He doesn't get that either. I know that he thinks. I showed up and made an appearance so It's "fixed". I have seen this act before. He comes home for a day or so and basically sleeps the whole time, and acts like well "i tried but your still being a bitch to me, so see ya." and, the cycle continues... It took us a long time to get in the situation... it will take a long time, and WORK to get out.