Hi MIB,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. We are your support.
You mention wanting to just give up? Well, if you are serious...it would save you a great deal of agony to throw in the towel, realize you have no control over this or him and start thinking about what you need to do for you.
I know, that sounds crazy but read around here for a while and you'll begin to notice a pattern; the people that really seem to be making it here did exactly that. You can tell by their very wise words who they are and that they have found a way to serenity despite having dealt with and even being still in the midst of some very painful situations.
I know none of it makes sense, but there is a reason the detox people are acting that way. It's likely that your husband is not interested in getting help and they have seen evidence of that. Their job isn't to explain it to us, but to handle the medical aspects of getting the addicts safely detoxed.
Please read around here as much as possible- have you checked out the stickies at the top of the forums? Very helpful, especially the one at the very top that Ann just posted in the last few days.
Knowing what I know today, I wouldn't bother picking your husband up at all. You'll hear from him. If he wants help, they will have given him all the information necessary to locate it. You can demand he go to rehab but it won't get him clean if he doesn't want to be there. And he likely doesn't or you wouldn't have been getting the run around on the phone. If he does want to go, he'll get there come he'll or high water and he will ask you for help getting checked in if he needs it. Also, please know there are many high quality free programs that have great success rates. Don't let this situation cause you further financial hardship.
I know you are hurting badly. It's a very painful and confusing thing that we face. But you are not the victim and he is not the perpetrator. You have a right to your anger, and it is healthy to have it. But you will learn here that you have great power and when you begin using it for your own well-being, everything will look very different to you.
Peace and Prayers for you, him and his sister.
Please stick with us and we'll support one another.
Hanna