Originally Posted by Katieemma44

I apologize in advance if this is the wrong place to be posting, I'm open for the criticism and would greatly appreciate being pointed in the right direction, if this is too grim and unmotivational for this forum.

I was sober for almost a full month after 8 years of heavy drinking and I can't seem to shake it. My partner, understandably, can't deal with it anymore so I've been drinking behind his back, and my family have no idea how to deal with me besides being positive and telling me I need to get help, so.....
Someone please ******* help me!

I thought I could beat this, I thought I could be strong and just knuckle down and move on.... I can't. I haven't. I never will without something stopping me, which after numerous arrests, broken belongings, broken bones, assaults, complete life sabotage I still won't ******* quit it!!!! WHY!

I'm smarter than this. Anyone who knows me, even seeing me through some pretty effed up things, will vouch that I'm a smart girl full of potential and I'm not a waste of space even remotely (besides when I'm drinking)

HELP! This is a plea, I am begging for anyone out there.... I can't do this anymore but I can't stop. I hate the lack of control over it. It's not my personality to not be in control and I can't stand it anymore. My brain almost just blocks out the fact that I'm ruining my life with this..

I live in NSW Australia. I hate meetings. I have no resources that I'm comfortable with. I need someone to actually talk to about this, someone close by preferably, I wanna feel strong again and hopefully motivate the person I get in touch with regularly as well.

It only takes one right answer to change a persons life and I'm hoping I can find it... If you have any response, even if you feel it's silly or not beneficial please just post it anyway.

Thanks guys, I'm beyond proud of all the sober people out there. You inspire me majorly and I want to be like you one day.