I need help, but I don't know what it is... I can't see it.
we're here, and we care. that's a start!
you mentioned not finding resources you are comfortable with. from my own experience, getting sober/clean is anything BUT comfy! it's hard work to change our thinking, our habits, our lifestyle. we spent a long time and HUGE amounts of energy using and getting addicted. and that takes work to undo.
it's hard, but you are so worth it. if you need medical help. please seek it out.