And I refuse to give up on him.
If you continue to enable his behavior you will have to give up on him.
He has given up on himself, you are providing him with a soft place to land and in the meantime you are allowing him to damage you and your children. It's a hard terrible realization, but the truth about alcoholism is that it is a progressive disease, when we allow our loved ones to continue with the same behavior over and over again, with no consequences, we make it very easy for them to continue doing the same thing over and over again.