Welcome to SR.
My story is similar to yours. Only, we got married. Sadly, we are now divorced, but gratefully so on my part because I was able to get away (and get my kids away) from the same behaviors you describe above. I didn't want a divorce; I just wanted to stop being a doormat.
Unfortunately, we don't cause them to drink, we can't cure them of it, and we can't control it through our words or passive-aggressive behaviors.
This isn't about you. It is about him and his addiction, which makes him very self-centered and externally focused, with no impulse control.
Read all you can about alcoholism. Under the Influence is a good book to start with. You may have some tough choices to make, and no, you are never locked in a lease. There are ways to work with landlords especially given your circumstances. Your safety and your kids safety needs to be the priority. I don't know the laws in your state, but I knew that I could potentially lose custody of my kids if we got reported for his alcoholism and rage. It's that serious.
Keep posting and keep coming back,
~T