Detachment and your boiling point.
I swear. When I am "detached" from my abf, it is amazing. Our whole RELATIONSHIP is better. He is checking in with ME. Dancing around my schedule and respecting my boundaries. I no longer give him my power, and I feel free, he doesn't try to push my buttons because he knows he can't. It's when I slip that all h*ll breaks loose. He even looked at me tonight and said "what happened?!". On my way home from work I was getting multiple texts from my uncle making me feel like crap for staying in the situation when I didnt even ask his opinion on it. I know he means well though, so I guess I started mentally resenting my ABF as I read them. After that I began to cook dinner when my abf waltz's in from work carrying a handle of rum and a 2 liter of coke, announcing that he's is JUST going to drink these from now on so he can lose his new beer belly (What the ?!) perfect! What kind of logic is that? Anyways.... I keep my mouth shut and continue cooking, after a few shots he comes over, tastes one of the sides I'm preparing and goes "ew!" Then spits it in the sink. Still I stay quiet. I manage to finish up and then during dinner he pours himself another shot and that is when I've had it. I promptly announce that I have NEVER known anyone who unwinded from work with multiple shots of rum that wasn't a full blown alcoholic. (he is still in denial)-& that's when it all went down hill. He of course starts yelling about how I always complaining and whatever else. I know tomorrow morning he will be a jerk and I will have to start all over. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I do hair and listen to all of my clients talk about their great partners and I am so envious. I guess I am just waiting for a miracle & the man I used to know to come back... Thanks for letting me share.