I don't think you have to leave now if you aren't ready. Just start going to Al-Anon, read everything on SR, work on yourself, and don't make anymore ultimatums unless you intend to follow up. You can do that. In time, things will become more clear and easier for you to deal with. This isn't something that has to be resolved today. I'm sorry you are going through this.. Hugs..Erika.