Welcome to the SR family!
You have found a wonderful resource of support and information.
Some of the things I learned since I came here:
Alcoholism is progressive. It gets worse if untreated.
Alcoholics will manipulate, minimize, lie, deny, distort, deny, and deny.
I learned I didn't Cause it
I can't Control it
I won't Cure it
(referred to as the 3 C's)
When you gave her an ultimatum, you drew a line in the sand. She crossed the line and continued to drink. What happens next?
If you want her to take you seriously, then you end the relationship ~ as hard as it is to leave you do it for yourself.
If you stay, you are showing her that you don't take yourself seriously ~ and she will learn that she can push your limits. She has learned that you will keep accepting unacceptable behavior over and over again.
I recommend you spend some time reading in our permanent posts at the top of this main page. I find lots of wisdom in those posts. This is a link to one of my favorite posts:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html