I appreciate this thread. The honesty and especially the humor...
For the record I have been codependent since childhood. I remember when I was about five being asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said I wanted to be a maid like Hazel. I am 54 so if you are younger than that you probably don't remember Hazel. She played the resident maid in a sit com popular in the 60's. Her bedroom was off the kitchen and all she did was serve and take care of that family. That was my dream job. A live in maid with a bedroom off the kitchen.
My codependency mushroomed and morphed into a way of life that literally almost killed me when I was faced with my children's addictions. No matter what I did I just couldn't fix it.
The first time my daughter was in rehab it was recommended that I attend AlAnon so I did. Anythng to help her...lol.
I also had the privilege of attending some open AA meetings at the time and that is where I came to the realization that I needed help. I was sitting in a meeting one day and realized I am just like them. Just like the addicts and alcoholics, only my addiction is trying to fix people.
I realized that my only chance of survival was to work those 12 steps with the raw honesty and dogged determination that I witnessed in those AA's. No more "I am here because my daughter has a drug problem." The glaring reality is that I am here because I have a problem and it has become unmanageable. The AA's were and still are a tremendous inspiriation to me.
I don't exaggerate when I say the 12 steps saved my life. They keep me balanced and sane and have so enriched my life.
Thanks again for this thread...